The Adonis Method

Hey guys….Here is a post I started months ago, and am finally posting:

I want to address another vital aspect of the concept of “being safe is risky”. In marketing there is a concept written about by Seth Godin called ‘The Purple Cow’. Imagine you are in a foreign country like France and you begin to notice cows grazing in the open fields and meadows. At first this may be quite breath-taking, but what if you were to see these cows over and over again? Would they be so outstanding? I’d guess that very soon you would be rather bored of seeing them and soon enough, you wouldn’t even notice they were there at all. What would it take for a cow to become noticeable to you again? The cow would have to be remarkable. What if you were to find a legitimate purple cow? Think you’d notice that? I’d venture to bet you would. A purple cow is quite remarkable! I’m not talking about a cow that has merely been spray painted purple. I speak of a cow that is truly purple…how remarkable!

I think a lot of marketing concepts apply directly to pick-up. Think about this the next time you are walking into a busy nightclub or bar: What is the impression I’m making on an attractive woman before I even approach her?? If you’re like most guys there, the answer is quite simple–you’re not making one at all. You have become like one of the many cows grazing on the fields in France. She doesn’t even notice you at all. There are lots of guys and they all seem to be just about the same to the attractive women there.

What if you were to roll into a bar with a woman on each arm, an entourage of a few cool guys, wearing something outrageous like a feather boa or platform shoes or an outrageous hat, while being greeted enthusiastically by the Club Manager and escorted by the equally excited VIP Hosts to a bottle service table? Think you might make a different impression? I’d be willing to wager a pretty penny that you would. You’ve portrayed yourself as a Purple Cow; you have become remarkable in her eyes!

Setting up something like this implies a certain amount of risk. To have women on your arms means you must have met a few before entering–which means you have had to approach, attract, and connect with some women prior to entering. Wearing something ridiculous like eyeliner or body glitter may cause the guys in the club to ridicule you and may turn off a certain number of the women present [more on this later]. Getting in good with the staff of the club means you are going to have to build relationships with them. All of this requires you take risks along the way, but it’s these very risks that cause you to make a remarkable impression: they turn you into the proverbial Purple Cow.

Let’s discuss Identity Conveyence for a moment and why it is effective. Most of you may know this as “Peacock Theory”, but if you’ve read my most recent post “Death to Peacocking” you will understand the shift. To refresh your memory we will do a recap on the basic evolutionary biology perspective on this. The most desirable Peacocks are the ones with the biggest and most ornate tail feathers. From an evolutionary perspective this almost doesn’t make sense. Ornate feathers make the Peacock more visible to predators; larger feathers weigh the peacock down, making it more difficult to escape predators…..and yet natural selection has chosen these characteristics as being more attractive to the peahen. Why is this the case? Well, the theory is that by advertising these costly signals illustrates to the peahen a peacock’s strength. By showing that he can make himself vulnerable and still be ok, he must be a strong, valuable peacock.

Humans have a similar anomaly. When a guy dresses up with a little ostentatious flair, women will notice this and often start feeling attraction. However, it is important to remember the concepts talked about in my post “Death to Peacocking” to really make this work properly. This also relates to the above mentioned Purple Cow. You can’t merely paint the cow purple for it to become remarkable…. likewise you cannot merely put on what you’ve seen other PUA’s where to become remarkable. Congruently conveying your identity is the equivalent of being the genuine Purple Cow…. and that’s remarkable!

Attractive women act in much the same way. They spend a lot of time crafting their “look” and making themselves out to be the show. When they walk into a bar… everyone notices them! Likewise, they tend to respond to these shows of value from high value guys. Listen, when I go out, the men may ridicule the way I’m dressed, the less attractive women may not think they can be with a guy like me because I’m out of range of what kind of guy they can see themselves being with…..but the extremely attractive women respond. We have an unspoken understanding: We both know what it’s like to have all eyes on us when we enter a bar.

I could dress like every other guy in the bar… playing it safe and wearing a normal button down shirt or a pop-collared polo shirt, but this very safety would result in huge risks for me. First off, it doesn’t convey my unique identity, second, by fitting in I become more generic, lose value, and lose that mutual understanding I would have with the really attractive women. Being safe is Risky!

Adonis